


Who Stole the Cake?

by C (Cat_Francis)



Category: Lemony Snicket - Fandom
Genre: Gen, The Merry Adventures of the Littlest Elf, Varied Felony Department, absolutely no secret codes, nope - Freeform, not at all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-11
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-18 23:05:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1446109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Francis/pseuds/C
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone has stolen the coconut cream cake and oatmeal cookies that the Littlest Elf brought to the Clearing to share with his friends. Along with his friend Liam the Turtle, the Littlest Elf sets out to discover the criminal behind the crime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Stole the Cake?

**Author's Note:**

> Much thanks to my associate L. for putting me in touch with Dr. Sebald. His work and our discussions were paramount for this story’s success. And, as I was fortunate enough to find out, he makes very fine desserts.

Once upon a time, there was a little Elf who lived in the forest with a bunch of other Elves and animals who were all bigger than he was. For this reason, he was called The Littlest Elf. His real name was Sparkletoes Twinkleberry and I regret to tell you that this sounded no better in Elvish. However, as he was only ever called by his real name if he was getting into serious trouble, and as he never got into serious trouble to start with, this is just a veritably frivolous detail.

On the particular day in question, the Littlest Elf was skipping through the woods to meet his friends in the Clearing, carrying a picnic basket full of goodies. As he bounced along, the tiny bells along the bottom of his brightly coloured tunic let out a happy ringing.

“I am finally here, friends,” the Littlest Elf announced. “And I have brought coconut cream cake and oatmeal cookies to share!” He put his hand into the basket but the goodies were missing. “This is very strange,” he mused. “Perhaps I will take a message to the bakery to find out what could have happened here.”

“That’s a very good idea,” Daisy the Fox spoke up as she looked to the rest of the group for agreement.

“No, it’s dangerous if you go alone,” Hugo the snail said. One by one the rest of the group nodded their heads.

“Is anyone willing to come with me?” the Elf asked. “It’s likely to be a dangerous road for us, but in order to find the cream cake and oatmeal cookies, I have to find the baker and figure out what’s going on. I wish it were different for we’ve lived so long in peace, but hidden evil lurks in our forest and we can’t allow it inside.”

In the silence that followed, the faraway clock bells finished chiming the hour. Then a voice spoke quietly over the rustling of the leaves in the trees surrounding the Clearing. It was Liam the Turtle.

“I-I’ll go wi-with you,” he stammered out slowly.

There was another long pause as everyone waited to hear what the Littlest Elf would say; Liam was the slowest creature in the forest and always seemed to find a way to mess everything up.

The Littlest Elf, however, leaped in the air, causing the bells on his tunic to jingle.

“I would love that, Liam!” The Littlest Elf punched the air. “Will you be ready to go soon? I think it might be a rather long journey so make sure to pack well.”

“In fact, I’m ready right now. Everything I need, I can touch from right here.

“I’ll go pack and then meet you shortly.”

The Littlest Elf didn’t wait for a response; the ringing of his bells faded away as he hurried home to pack what he would need for the trip. The rest of the woodland creatures stayed behind to talk over the most recent developments. Except for Lucy the Elf who excused herself when her phone rang.

“If you want my opinion,” Old Ellis the Crow said, “ then you had better listen good and proper. I don’t want to have to repeat myself. I don’t trust the Elf and Turtle to bring those goodies back safe. In fact, I’m going to contact my Varied Felony Detective friend to tail them. Goodness bless me,” he cawed. “I’ve missed my lunch so I’ll take my leave, friends. And I do hope those boys can bring back a cake for us!”

Daisy the Fox said, “I’ll take your message to the Varied Felony Department, Mister Ellis. I am going in there anyway to file a complaint that Sparkletoes didn’t notice the new dress I’m wearing.” She spun so everyone could see. “Comments are appreciated, you know.”

Everyone said it was lovely but, underneath their breaths, they said things that were less than kind. The creatures all drifted away from the Clearing, walking past the bell tower back into town. They would wait for the next signal to meet again.

The Littlest Elf hurried around his room, “Will I need to bring my lucky coin, mom?” he shouted. “I should be prepared for anything.”

“You’re not going. I thought that was understood,” his mother shouted back as the doorbell rang. She opened the door to find Liam the Turtle wringing his hands on her porch.

“Oh, hello Liam. What can I do for you today?”

“I’ve ju-just come to see i-if the Lit-Littlest Elf is r-ready yet.”

“Actually he’s-”

“Right here,” the Littlest Elf said, popping up beside his mother. She threw her hands up in frustration and turned back inside as the pie timer chimed.

“With all I’ve had to put up with from you for all these years,” she muttered, walking away. “And this is the due I’ve earned after all.”

“Ugh! I wish you would just respect me!” he cried as the phone rang. As his mother went to answer it, the Littlest Elf slipped outside to join Liam.

“Ready to go?”

“O-of course I a-am,” Liam smiled. And they headed off down the path to the bakery on the other side of the forest.


End file.
